


Lasting Impressions

by Regi



Series: Sobering Reminders [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Dean Winchester In Love, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester Use Their Words, Dorks in Love, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Finale What Finale, Fluff and Smut, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Morning After, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Protective Dean Winchester, Sex Talk, Supportive Mary Winchester, Supportive Sam Winchester, Switching, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-23 01:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regi/pseuds/Regi
Summary: Sam was right—sex with feelings was really something else. Dean always thought he was just criticizing his terrible dating habits (or lack thereof), but maybe he was really onto something.(It's really just Dean and Cas being happily in love)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, past Dean winchester/others
Series: Sobering Reminders [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098587
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	1. Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> (Picks up directly after Cleansing Sentiments)

“Did you sleep with Crowley?”

Dean rolled over, trying to blink the tiredness from his eyes. “What?”

“Did you sleep with Crowley?” Castiel repeated, emphasising each syllable.

Dean faltered. They never really had these conversations. Cas knew that he was…unattached for a while, and most of his “relationships” included one-night stands in seedy motels or the alley behind whatever bar he was drinking at—and Dean knew that Cas knew. It never seemed to bother him before (at least, he never brought it up). And to ambush Dean as soon as he woke up was uncalled for. Couldn’t they have this conversation some other time? Maybe when they weren’t completely naked, still high on (what had to be) some of the best sex Dean had ever experienced. He hated to admit it, but Sam was right—sex with feelings was really something else. Dean always thought he was just criticizing his terrible dating habits (or lack thereof), but maybe he was really onto something. He’d never say that, though. There were two things that made Dean extremely uncomfortable: spiders and telling Sam about the next-level sex he was having with their best friend (and, you know, snakes and planes and witches spewing their bodily fluids everywhere and—mostly just the sex thing). 

Cas was propped on one elbow, picking at his fingernails as he impatiently waited for a response.

He scrubbed his hand down his face. “Where’s this coming from?” he grumbled through his fingers. 

“Curiosity, mostly,” he shared. “Are you going to answer me or not?”

“Does it matter?” Dean countered, sitting upright. 

Cas raised his eyebrow. “I suppose not,” he groused, tossing off his half of the blanket and getting out of bed. 

“Cas,” Dean exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

He ignored him, instead opening Dean’s dresser and pulling out a pair of plaid pajama pants, pulling them tight and tying the strings in a neat little bow. Cas was only barely leaner than his lover, but it was enough to make Dean’s pants a little too roomy (something that made Dean  _ incredibly _ happy for no goddamn reason).

“Sam and Eileen should be back soon. I’ll go clean up the bathroom,” he said, never looking back before exiting the room. 

Dean called out to him, but he could tell Cas was upset with his answer. 

_ Just tell him _ , said that nagging, little voice in the back of his head (Sam insisted it was his conscience, but he was pretty sure Jiminy jumped ship nearly a decade ago). 

He sighed, grumbled curses to himself, and finally drug himself out of the bed. After dressing in the sweatpants that were on the floor (they were probably clean), Dean trudged to the bathroom, where his angsty angel was hiding. 

Cas didn’t notice him leaning against the doorway (and if he did, he did a good job of disregarding him). He was mopping up the water with a towel, watching intently as he pushed it around with his bare foot. His face was stoic, but Dean could tell that he was pouting. He was doing that thing with his jaw again—the thing he always did whenever he was fed up with his boyfriend. It was actually kinda cute, and Dean couldn’t help but smile. 

When Cas bent down to pick up the towel, he winced ever so slightly—and Dean couldn’t help but feel both proud and concerned, because he did that (but he also  _ did _ that). 

He rubbed the back of his neck. _ Where do I start? _

“You know,” Cas said, still with his back towards Dean, “I spent a long time traveling with Crowley when we were hunting Lucifer. And he was… talkative. Actually, he wouldn’t shut up. Ever. He’d say things—not like Lucifer did—just things that he thought would annoy me. I’m ashamed to say he succeeded on more than one occasion.”

Dean swallowed. “What did he say?”

“Lots of things. Mostly about the angels and Fall, the souls from Purgatory, Lucifer’s possession…”

Dean grimaced. He never liked to dwell on the past, because they were all things (he thought) he could prevent. 

“… and you,” Cas finished, still squatting on the ground. “He had a lot to say about you.” 

“Like what?” he quavered. 

Cas shrugged. “Like your—what did Sam call it?” He tilted his head. “Your ‘summer of love,’” he continued, air quotes and all. 

Dean’s stomach sank. “Sam’s just being a drama queen. There was no ‘summer’ and certainly no ‘love.’”

The angel turned to face him, still sitting on the ground. “So you didn’t have sex with him?”

“Does it really matter, Cas?” he groaned. 

“No,” he said, looking back towards the ground. “I suppose it doesn’t.”

_ Fuck _ . Dean knew that look—that stoic yet distant look of angelic sorrow. Usually, that face was reserved for moments of absolute stupidity (also known as “moments where Dean fucked up, as per usual”); where Cas was desperately trying to prove he was worthy or something, and Dean managed to say the wrong thing.  _ Just say it _ . 

“I don’t understand it,” Cas sighed. “I know it doesn’t matter. I know that Crowley is dead. I know that—” His breath hitched. “I know that you chose me to be your paramour. Yet it still vexes me. It’s overwhelming and, frankly, exhausting.”

The corners of Dean’s mouth curved upwards. “You’re jealous.”

Cas shot him a nasty glare. “I have no reason to be.”

“Yet here you sit, upset that I may or may not have had sex with someone nearly six years ago.”

“I’m not upset.”

“Yeah, you kinda are,” he jeered.  _ And it’s kinda cute _ . “Come on,” he added, offering his hand.

Begrudgingly, Cas grabbed his forearm and accepted the help up. 

Dean pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his waist. Cas was still frowning, his eyebrows knitted together. He leaned in, pressing his lips to the creases on his angel’s forehead. 

“Come back to bed,” Dean whispered against his skin. 

“Dean…”

“Come back, and we’ll talk.”

Cas cupped his face and placed a chaste kiss against his lips, before dragging him back to Dean’s bedroom. He practically threw Dean back into bed (Cas was surprisingly strong, considering he was now a weak, little human like the rest of them). Dean watched fondly as Cas rearranged his pillow and tucked under the covers. He still didn’t understand how a warrior—and former angel of the Lord—could be so damn adorable, but there he was, staring up at Dean with those big, blue eyes. 

Dean suddenly felt the nerves in his stomach. He didn’t like talking about  _ this _ , and everyone knew that—that’s why no one brought it up. Ever. 

“I was a demon,” he started, unable to look Cas in the eye. 

“Yes, I remember. You tried to kill Sam with a hammer.”

He swallowed.“Yeah, so I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind.”

“So you did sleep with Crowley.”

Dean let out an exasperated sigh. “Not exactly.”

Castiel waited. 

“It was more of a… look, there were a lot of orgies, okay?”

“Orgies?” 

“Yeah. You know, when there are more than—”

“I know what an orgy is, Dean.”

“Right,” he mumbled, glancing down at his pillow. There was a dried puddle of drool next to his head. He really needed to do laundry. 

“Dean?” Cas asked, quietly. 

He cleared his throat and scratched at his forehead. “Yeah, so there was never any… direct… at least not that I remember.”

Cas gave him a crooked smile, but still said nothing. 

“So,” Dean continued, “What exactly did Crowley say?” 

“Does that matter?” he asked, cocking his head. 

Dean grimaced. “Considering it was bad enough to make you  _ this _ jealous, yeah, I think it does.”

He hummed in agreement as he turned onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. “Your libido. He spoke about your frequent sexual encounters with various women—and men—but mostly women. Said it was convenient that demons couldn’t contract venereal diseases, and frankly, I have to agree.” 

Dean frowned. 

“He described your genitals in great detail, although his description was quite inaccurate. I have to agree with him on one thing: your hindquarters are quite voluptuous.” 

“That’s what had you so…?” he chuckled, unable to finish the thought. “Because Crowley couldn’t describe my dick properly?”

“No, that’s…” he trailed off. 

“Cas,” Dean said, brushing his fingers against his angel’s bicep. “What else?”

He sighed. “Crowley knew I loved you. He never said it—not explicitly, at least—but he knew. I think he always knew,” he said somberly. “He also said that you talked about me.”

Dean’s mouth went dry. “What did he say?”

“That, even as a demon, you were a talkative drunk. You often fantasized about killing me and Sam and anyone else you knew, for that matter. It was quite graphic.”

“Graphic how?” he pressed.

“Dean.”

“Don’t give me that.”

Cas exhaled. “There were explicit facets. Things you ‘had planned’ for me. And that’s all I’m saying.”

“Cas—”

“I didn’t listen to the details,” he interjected. “And Crowley stopped bringing it up after I stabbed him in the leg.”

Dean grinned. 

“Twice.”

“Good,” he said, sliding closer. “Cas, you gotta know—”

“You were a demon. I know,” he reassured, finally meeting his gaze. “It’s perfectly logical. It makes all the sense in the world, yet for some reason it’s bothering me, and I don’t understand it.” 

Dean gave a weak chuckle. “That’s part of being human. Sometimes things bother you, even when you don’t think they should.” 

“Well,” he huffed. “It’s annoying.” 

Dean cupped Cas’ face, staring at his eyes (he really could get lost in that sea of blue and be perfectly content, but alas). His thumb scratched against the stubbled cheek before dragging over his lips. He leaned in and kissed him, slow and hot and full of everything he couldn’t put into words. He would never forgive himself for his demon days, even if he only remembered bits and pieces; it was enough to make him sick to the stomach every time he thought about it. Which is why Cas never brought it up. How long had this been bothering him? 

The angel slipped his hand around the back of Dean’s head, loosely tying his fingers in those dark blonde locks. When they pulled apart, he couldn’t help but smile. Cas’ face flushed, his lips still wet with Dean’s saliva—it gave him butterflies in his stomach every time—like some dumb teenager who made out with his first love. But that’s what Cas was, wasn’t he? Sure, Dean had felt that happy horniness with others, but it felt different this time; he was  _ giddy _ . Sometimes he’d just break into a bubbly laugh because he couldn’t contain how stupidly happy he was. It was incredible. 

He pressed his lips against Cas’ jaw and started trailing kisses down his neck. 

“Dean,” Cas rasped, combing his fingers through his lover’s hair. “Wait.”

Dean quickly stopped what he was doing and looked up at his angel. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just…” he pursed his lips. “I thought I was supposed to spoil you.”

He chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on the tip of Cas’ nose. “Yeah, I remember. And you are—believe me. You always are.” 

Dean kissed him again—tenderly, this time—before resting his head on Cas’ chest. 

He wasn’t lying, when he said that. Cas had been spoiling him for as long as he could remember. He gave up heaven for his ‘Righteous Man,’  _ died _ for him, loved him through everything—hell, he even spoiled Dean in bed, always making sure he was satisfied (sometimes a little too satisfied), reassuring him that he was loved unconditionally. It really was incredible, and Dean couldn’t ever say how much that meant to him. And it wasn’t because he didn’t want to say it, he just could never find the right words. He needed to do something—something big and unexpected—something that would show Cas just how much he loved him. 

Well… there was  _ one _ thing he’d never done (not that he didn’t think about doing it all the time). Cas never asked him to, though Dean was pretty sure it was because he didn’t want to scare him off. It’s not that he didn’t like guys, he just never really  _ did _ anything about it. And besides… What if he was bad at it? Dean took pride in his skills in bed—and not in some douchebag way. No, he was a courteous lover and he was proud of that. He always made sure his partner was enjoying themselves just as much as he was. And, if he was bad at it, it wouldn’t be very enjoyable, would it? It would just be awkward as all hell and end with Cas saying something like “it wasn’t that bad.” 

But this was  _ Cas _ . And Cas was… well, Cas. He wouldn’t say anything bad because that’s not what he did. He never asked to try anything ‘out of the box,’ even though he  _ clearly _ enjoyed the whole spanking experience (Dean was pretty sure he wanted to try it before, but just didn’t know how to bring it up). Damn. 

_ What the hell _ , he shrugged, looking up at Cas again. 

The angel furrowed his brow and tilted his head.

Dean licked his lips before pressing a soft kiss against Cas’ sternum. He trailed kisses down his stomach, taking a moment to appreciate the body lying beneath him. Since he became human, Cas lost most of the definition in his abs (Dean wasn’t criticizing, though. He hadn’t had visible abs since he was thirty—they were overrated, anyways). 

The Enochian warding, now a faded blue color, rested on his left side; he usually found tattoos really sexy, but this one just made him sad. It was the constant reminder of the first time Cas became human (and how he kicked him out of the bunker with no explanation). His best friend had just gone through something so traumatic, and Dean just made it worse by making him homeless. If he could go back in time, he would change everything—but he can’t; all he could do now was kiss the words and move on.

It wasn’t until Dean kissed the spot right below his navel that the angel realized what he was doing. 

“Dean,” he said in a gravelly voice. 

“Hm?” Dean hummed, thumbs tracing down his sides and resting just above his waistband. 

“You don’t have to,” Cas insisted, gently stroking Dean’s hair. 

“I know.” He kissed the skin right above the growing erection, sucking briefly on the skin; he hoped it would leave a mark. “I want to.”

The angel looked at him with soft, happy eyes and Dean’s heart melted. He hooked his fingers into Cas’ waistband and exposed his pink, hardening member. 

_ There’s no reason to be intimidated by this _ , he told himself. He’s seen it done hundreds of times—how hard could it be? 

He remembered the first time Cas took him in his mouth. Cas said he read something in a book and wanted to try it (and caught Dean by surprise when he dropped to his knees). It was obviously the first time the angel had ever done something like that, and it wasn’t exactly the best blowjob Dean had. Cas was sloppy and uncoordinated, gagging at one point—but seeing him on his knees, desperately trying to swallow as much as he could, was the sexiest thing Dean could’ve ever imagined. 

Dean gave the head of his cock a tentative lick and Cas’ hips bucked upward. He wrapped his hand around the base, dragging his tongue from the base to the tip, before taking him into his mouth. 

Half of him felt really stupid—like a fumbling virgin desperate to impress—and the other half just wanted to keep swallowing until he could bury his nose in the bed of dark curls, but the moment the head bumped against his soft palate, Dean gagged and quickly backed off. He focused all of his attention on the head, testing the waters. He hollowed his cheeks as his thumb caressed the underside, which made Cas’ breath grow ragged. When he pressed his tongue against the slit, the angel let out a desperate whine Dean had never heard before.  _ Interesting _ . He pulled back, placing hot, wet kisses down the shaft, before licking a stripe along the side and taking him back into his mouth. 

Cas’ hand found Dean’s head, but he wasn’t rough. Instead, he lovingly stroked Dean’s hair, as if he were praising him. For some reason, it made Dean feel  _ really _ good and he started wondering if he had some kind of praise kink. 

The angel grunted, hips bucking up again, and Dean could feel that he was close. Cas’ fingers tighten at the back of his head, and before he knew what was happening, Dean was pulled off of his cock just in time to get shot in the face. 

“Crap,” Cas huffed, rolling to his side and grabbing a handful of tissues. “I didn’t—I’m so sorry Dean,” he said, frantically wiping the cum off of his face. 

That look of panic finally broke Dean. He was nearly in hysterics, he was laughing so hard. He could feel the tears prickling at his eyes, the pull in his stomach, and a sense of amusement he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Cas looked at him, horrified and unsure what to make of his hysterical human.

“I, uh…” he stammered, “I thought I had more time, I just—I don’t understand what’s funny.”

“’S fine,” Dean wheezed, clutching his belly. “Oh my God.” 

He wrapped his hand around the angel’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. And, damn, if that giddy feeling wasn’t back. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Cas asked. 

“No,” Dean grinned. “No, you did nothing wrong. Come’ere,” he said, pulling Cas back down, snuggling around him. 

He was still visibly confused, but Cas never passed at a chance to cuddle. Any time they laid together, he would wrap his arms around Dean like his life depended on it. He probably didn’t even realize that he was  _ Dean’s _ lifeline; that their moments together made everything else melt away. They could just exist. 

Dean kissed the top of his head and held him close, relishing in the moment. 

“Sam and Eileen will be home soon,” Cas whispered. 

He glanced at the clock. “We might have a few hours still. Wanna make good use of our time?”

Cas chuckled. “As lovely as that sounds, I don’t think I can. But maybe… maybe we could just stay like this for a while?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Dean mused. 

They laid in silence for a bit before Dean remembered Cas wincing in the bathroom.

“Are you sore?” he muttered, stroking circles along the angel’s shoulder. 

Cas looked up at him, unamused. 

“It’s normal to be sore,” Dean murmured, kissing his cheek. “A word of advice? Avoid the chairs in the kitchen. They’re murder on a freshly fucked ass.” 

“I’ll try to remember that,” he chortled, nuzzling into his lover's chest. “Remind me again when I wake up, okay?” 

“Definitely.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Sam and Eileen came home a few hours later, and neither of them said anything when Cas and Dean stumbled out of the bedroom after noon. Sam even refrained from making snide comments when Cas sat down in the kitchen (and immediately winced), which was well appreciated. It was bad enough that Sam knew they were having sex, let alone knowing who did what. 

The brothers typically stuck with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy; really, he could count on one hand just how many times they spoke about Cas and Dean’s relationship. It’s not that he didn’t want to be open about it—it just felt weird. And Cas was Sam’s best (and only) friend; Dean still felt a little guilty about that, but his romance with Cas didn’t seem to dampen their friendship. 

Usually Dean had no problem telling Sam about his exploits (some, not all). But it was different with Cas. And it wasn’t just for Sam’s sanity either; Dean actually  _ wanted _ to keep certain things secret. Not because he was ashamed of Cas, but he really wasn’t comfortable saying “I like when our former angel friend bends me over and breaks me in half.” Not to his baby brother. So they avoided talking about it. Problem solved. 

Except now, he was stuck in the bunker with Sam while their significant other’s went on a hunt. Yep, Cas went on a hunt with Eileen. His first hunt without Dean since becoming human. And Sam had the  _ audacity _ to say he was being overprotective, practically  _ daring _ him to tag along like some helicopter parent. Bitch. 

“Will you sit down?” Sam growled, rubbing his temples. 

Dean was pacing through the library, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at his brother every time he walked by the table. 

“No,” he growled. 

Sam sighed. “It’s one werewolf, Dean.  _ One _ .”

“They should be done by now.”

“They’re competent hunters.”

“He should’ve called by now,” Dean grumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“Dude, come on. You’re acting like a—”

“Shut up, Sam.”

He sighed again. “Dean, he’s fought a lot worse.”

“When he was an angel,” he barked, stuffing his phone back into his pants. “He’s not an angel anymore. He’s human and… breakable.” 

“Breakable?”

“You saw what happened with Tzaphiel.”

“Yeah, and Tzaphiel was an  _ angel _ and Cas was unarmed.”

“That’s not the point. He—”

Dean was cut off by his phone, vibrating against his rear. Cas finally got back to him.

**Cas: The werewolf is dead. Eileen and I are going to stay at a motel tonight. We will be home tomorrow :)**

He smiled.

**Dean: Are you hurt?**

**Cas: No. Neither is Eileen.**

**Dean: Good. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.**

**Cas: Not before I shower. I smell like a wet dog.**

**Cas: I love you <3**

Dean could feel the heat rush to his face. There was no doubt about it—he was blushing like a schoolgirl. Sam was definitely laughing at him. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside? Definitely laughing. 

**Dean: I love you too**

**Dean: <3**

Sam could never know he used emojis with Cas. Never.

“Feel better now?” Sam asked with a smug grin. 

“Shut up.” 

He chuckled. “Will you sit down now? You’re beer’s getting warm.”

Dean glared but obliged, sitting directly across from his obnoxious little brother. He grabbed his beer and propped his feet on the table, attempting to relax.

“Are we ever going to talk about it?” Sam inquired. 

“What’s there to talk about?”

He peaked an eyebrow. “Seriously?” 

Dean shrugged innocently. 

“Dude, come on. It’s been months and you’re still acting like nothing’s happened.”

He got no response. 

Sam sighed. “Can I at least say he’s your boyfriend, or is the B-word still taboo?”

“I’m not having this conversation,” Dean grumbled, placing his feet on the ground and standing to leave. 

“Dean,” Sam called out as his brother turned away from him. 

He ignored him, heading down the library steps towards the war room. 

“Mom knew.”

Dean froze. 

“She asked me about it more than once.”

“What did she say?” he asked, holding his breath. 

Sam exhaled. “Nothing bad, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“I’m not… what did she say, exactly?” Dean continued, turning back towards the table. 

Sam shrugged. “She asked if you two were together. And she could tell you two had something ‘special.’ You said he was like family, but it felt different.”

The color drained from Dean’s face. “What did you tell her?”

“That you two weren’t together, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened at some point.” 

“Sam.”

“What? It’s the truth. And she agreed.”

“She did?” he asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah. She also thought you needed to pull your head out of your ass.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, well. She wasn’t wrong. And she wasn’t freaked out?”

“Dude, she had just come back from the dead. Your weird relationship with an angel was low on the list of concerning topics. You know what she told me?”

“Do I want to?”

“She wanted you to be happy. She didn’t care who—or  _ what _ —Cas was. Besides, I’m pretty sure she liked him more than us at times.”

“Do you blame her?”

“Not a bit,” Sam laughed. 

Dean smiled and shook his head, as he walked back over to the table. “You know Jack thought we were a couple?”

His brother snorted. “Trust me, I know.”

“Apparently he asked Cas why we don’t sleep in the same room,” he laughed at the memory. “And Cas just said ‘I don’t sleep.’ He completely missed the point.”

“Did Jack ever ask you how two men… you know?” Sam asked, making an obscene gesture with his hands. 

“What? No. Why? Did he—”

“Yeah.”

Dean laughed. “What’d you say?”

“I told him to look it up—and he did—but he just had so many questions,” Sam said, as if he was remembering life in a warzone. “I think he was too afraid to ask you.”

“Thank God,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his warm beer. 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, sipping at their beers (Dean remembering every time he wanted to kiss Cas, and every time he chickened out). 

“Are you happy?” Sam asked softly, looking up at his brother. 

Dean smiled. “Yeah. I’m… I’m happier than I’ve ever been and it’s just…”

“Freeing?”

“I guess so. I just… I never really thought it was in the cards for me. The whole ‘happy ending’ shit seemed like a load of crap. But now it’s just… I don’t know, man. I can’t really explain it.” 

“You don’t have to.”

Dean sighed fondly. “Well,” he said, stretching his arms above his head. “I think I’m gonna hit the sack. I’m exhausted.”

“Acting like a mother hen will do that to you,” Sam muttered.

“Shut up,” he called as he walked down the hall. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Dean was woken up when he felt the weight of the mattress shift. He opened a tired eye to see a freshly showered Cas slipping under the covers next to him. 

_ He’s home _ .

“Hey,” he slurred, reaching for Cas’ hand. “What time is it?”

“Quarter past five,” Cas murmured, stroking Dean’s cheek. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“S’fine,” he assured the angel. “Missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Dean rolled so his back faced Cas before grabbing the angel’s hand and pulling it over his waist. 

They didn’t lay like that often; Dean usually preferred to be the ‘big spoon’ or have Cas draped over his chest so he could see him. But tonight (morning, whatever), Dean wanted to be held. He wanted to be wrapped in the warmth that was his angel and feel Cas’ deep breaths as they lulled to sleep. That was it—those were the moments that made all of the regrets and awkward conversations worth it. 

  
  



	2. Bonus Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV post-hunt

Cas sat at the edge of the bed, staring at his phone while he waited for Eileen to finish in the shower. He should text Dean, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He knew his paramour was worried about him going off on cases alone (even though he wasn’t actually alone) and would want to know every detail as soon as possible. In his defense, going on this case wasn’t Cas’ idea. 

Eileen had found him sitting in the library the previous morning and asked him to go on a hunt with her. He still thought it was odd—she usually partnered with Sam or went by herself; taking a former angel seemed out of the ordinary. 

He could still remember the look on the brothers’ faces when Eileen announced their trip. Sam looked dumbfounded (and slightly hurt because he was left out, no doubt) and Dean looked downright terrified. It was obvious that the hunter wanted to join them, but he never said anything (he didn’t even complain, which Cas found even more surprising, to say the least). Eileen insisted it would be good for them all—giving Sam and Dean some quality “brother time” and them a break from “overbearing boyfriends.” 

He liked that word: boyfriends. Dean never really used it, and Cas understood why. It was juvenile, since neither of them were boys— they were men—but apparently “menfriends” was unacceptable. Dean seemed to like the term “paramour.” He said it made him feel like “a lustful woman in ancient Greece, sneaking into her lovers chambers after the sun went down.” Cas still wasn’t sure what he meant by that. He had seen ancient Greece firsthand, and while they were very creative with their usage of olive oil, he didn’t think it was Dean’s best use of metaphor. And he seriously doubted Dean wanted to exchange their silicone lube for olive oil (both got the job done, but lube was much more convenient). 

Still, Cas loved how excited Dean got when he mentioned it. Sometimes he would be cute and smiling, and other times his eyes would be full of lust. He jokingly mentioned roleplaying as a servant, who was also a general’s paramour, and it made Cas unabashedly excited. He could picture it now: Dean draped in in nothing but a white sheet, covered in a glistening body oil, sprawled across the bed—and, damnit, he was getting hard. He’d have to take care of it in the shower (thankfully, Eileen bathed before him). 

As if she was on cue, Eileen opened the door to the bathroom, dressed in her pajamas with her hair still wrapped in a towel. 

_ All yours _ , she signed before flopping down onto her bed. 

_ Thank you. _

She smiled.  _ Texting Dean? _

Cas looked down at the phone in his hand.  _ Yes, I still need to check in with him. _

_ Tell him I used you as bait _ .

_ I don’t think he’d find that very amusing _ . 

_ Maybe not. But I will _ .

He chuckled.  _ Did you contact Sam? _

_ Yep _ .  _ You should shower and get some sleep. We can leave early, if you want _ . 

_ I don’t want to impose _ .

Eileen laughed.  _ You aren’t. Besides, I’m sure Dean’s really feeling the separation anxiety _ . 

_ Did Sam say something? _

_ Just that he misses you and is being a big baby about it _ . She chuckled.  _ We can surprise them tomorrow. And I can sleep in a real, clean bed _ . 

_ That does sound nice _ . 

_ Right? I’m a genius. _

Cas smiled and looked back at his phone. Surprising Dean sounded great—and Eileen had some of the best ideas. He really hoped Sam realized just how lucky he was to have her by his side. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


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